Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Back to Me

I don't know about you, but if you have kids, and I've got 3 of the little buggers, your life can easily take on a whole new direction. Particularly where small children are concerned, they have immediate needs, on a minute-to-minute basis, that must be met as soon as humanly possible. Butts need to be hosed down, tummies need to be filled, noses need to be wiped, entertainment needs to be get the idea. As they get older, they can wait a little longer for certain things, but by and large, the majority of a parent's day is spent bowing down to the whims of those 42 inches and shorter. It's sort of like a reverse ride at get taken for a ride over and over, but you're kind of getting the short end of the stick.

Now, my kids are pretty young. We're coming up on birthday season in our house. My oldest will be 4, the middle will be 3 and the youngest is 4 months today. With younger kids, you need to be "on" for a majority of the day. You can choose to be off, but you're pretty much guaranteed a huge mess somewhere that's extraordinarily difficult to clean, so it really does behoove you to be "on". Now, I made a conscious decision to have children. I knew it would be a lot of work; well, truthfully, I had an idea it would be a lot of work, but it's one of those things you don't really know until it happens. And most days, I take the work willingly. I figure if I made a conscious decision to have children, the least I can do is pay attention to them and try and help them become people other people will want to be around on a regular basis. That being said, I also find my own life lacking a bit. Like part of me is hiding somewhere. And that part really wants to come out and play.

Before kids, I thought I was a pretty good person. I liked being around me. Other people didn't seem to mind being around me. But once the kids showed up, I spent a lot more time at home and sort of became encamped there. When I was pregnant, that took over my life. When the baby was born, that took over my life. As the baby got older, I was still nursing, so that was still a major part of daily life. But now we're at the point where we're done having kids (much to my husband's relief) and I feel like it's a really great time for me to be looking toward the future and to get some "me" back. Yes, I'll still be the mom, but I'll also be the Maegan. Sure, I'll be answering to "Mom" (and all it's various forms) far more often than I'll be answering to my given name, but at least Maegan will be back in the game.

To that end, I've set myself a couple goals. And if other people know about those goals, then I'll be a little more likely to stick to them, so here they are:

1. I'm going to run the marathon. I attempted to do this 2 years ago and made it halfway. I thought that was pretty good, because I am SO not a runner. But this time I want to finish the damn thing. I don't need to do it in record time. I don't need to look pretty doing it. I just need to finish. I started training this week. And it's not pretty. But I'm doing it...and at an obscenely, horrendously early hour in the morning...before the kids wake up. I figure that way I start the day with just myself to worry about...and I get gratifying looks of astonishment when people ask me what time I woke up that morning.

2. I'm going to take a sewing class. It's something I've wanted to do for years. I have no idea why, really, but I want to, so I'm going to. And (gasp) I'm hiring a babysitter so I can actually do it. Watch out!

3. I'm going to put a lot more effort into my new-ish business venture. I started selling a jewelry line a couple months before #3 arrived and it's been relatively successful. Now I just need to get into the habit of keeping the ball rolling. It's a lot easier to keep it rolling than it is to start it up again every few weeks.

So, there you have it. A few goals for yours truly. Perhaps you have some goals for yourself you've been putting off...feel free to leave a comment about your goals. Maybe it'll help you keep yourself accountable. Or maybe just thinking about them a little more often will be the fire you need to get you going. However you choose to get around to your goals, I wish you success. Please let me know how they turn out...I'll be rooting for you.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go pop a few ibuprofen because my legs are killing me...and I need to call the sewing shop and register for my class.