Monday, March 14, 2011

Crocks and Whatnot

Today, I was feeling rather Super Woman-y. It's been a particularly busy day without being insane...just one of those days where there's a lot to do and hopefully at least a portion of it gets done. The Favorite had to leave early, so I was in charge of the creatures from the get-go. We did the breakfast thing, then the Middle One had swimming lessons, I got in a workout while the other 2 played in the playroom, we did the lunch thing, The Dude did the nap thing, I did some of the cleaning stuff, before a quick shower and then I had to run to my old job for some freelance training. On the way home from that, I stopped to do the grocery thing. At this point, I was feeling rather accomplished for having made it through the day with no major freak outs. I pulled into the parking lot, behind a minivan and that's when I saw it. A seemingly benign bumper sticker that read:

Motherhood is a Proud Profession.

My immediate thought?

What a crock of shit.

Not only did I think this...I said it out loud. To myself. Yes, that's right...I talk to myself. And sometimes I also answer.

But, I digress.

Now, don't misunderstand me. Motherhood, fatherhood, parenthood....whichever hood you rock, there's a lot to be proud of. But it's not a profession. You can't go to school for 4, 6 or 10 years and walk away with a degree in Motherhood. You can take parenting classes, certainly. And while they may guide you in your parenting behaviors, if you fail, guess what? You're still a parent. Even if you suck at it.

And in my world, fantastical as it may be at times, professionals get something's called a paycheck. Yes, yes, I know...children give us so much more than money. They give us unconditional love, super squeezy hugs, sloppy, milky kisses and uncontrollable giggles. They also give us hacking coughs, dark circles under our eyes, gray hairs and wrinkles. And I hear the teenagers tend toward giving parents a mild case of alcoholism and/or early onset Alzheimer's. I don't know about you, but none of my former bosses gave me any of that stuff. (Alcoholism to be determined.)

I'd also like to take a moment to look at the basic biology of this grand "profession". Just because Person 1 inserts a certain something into Person 2, and Person 2 happens to be experiencing certain biological happenings that result in the formation of a creature, does not a professional make. I'm just sayin'.

So, no, I do not believe Motherhood, or its counterparts, is a profession. I believe parents should try their damndest to be the best parents they can be, but I also believe it's a bit of a crapshoot. I'm pretty sure Adolph Hitler's mom didn't think she'd given birth to the anti-Christ.

I'm thinking I'll take the over/under 7 and hope it plays out well for us all.