Back to Me

I don't know about you, but if you have kids, and I've got 3 of the little buggers, your life can easily take on a whole new direction. Particularly where small children are concerned, they have immediate needs, on a minute-to-minute basis, that must be met as soon as humanly possible. Butts need to be hosed down, tummies need to be filled, noses need to be wiped, entertainment needs to be supplied...you get the idea. As they get older, they can wait a little longer for certain things, but by and large, the majority of a parent's day is spent bowing down to the whims of those 42 inches and shorter. It's sort of like a reverse ride at Disney...you get taken for a ride over and over, but you're kind of getting the short end of the stick.

Now, my kids are pretty young. We're coming up on birthday season in our house. My oldest will be 4, the middle will be 3 and the youngest is 4 months today. With younger kids, you need to be "on" for a majority of the day. You can choose to be off, but you're pretty much guaranteed a huge mess somewhere that's extraordinarily difficult to clean, so it really does behoove you to be "on". Now, I made a conscious decision to have children. I knew it would be a lot of work; well, truthfully, I had an idea it would be a lot of work, but it's one of those things you don't really know until it happens. And most days, I take the work willingly. I figure if I made a conscious decision to have children, the least I can do is pay attention to them and try and help them become people other people will want to be around on a regular basis. That being said, I also find my own life lacking a bit. Like part of me is hiding somewhere. And that part really wants to come out and play.

Before kids, I thought I was a pretty good person. I liked being around me. Other people didn't seem to mind being around me. But once the kids showed up, I spent a lot more time at home and sort of became encamped there. When I was pregnant, that took over my life. When the baby was born, that took over my life. As the baby got older, I was still nursing, so that was still a major part of daily life. But now we're at the point where we're done having kids (much to my husband's relief) and I feel like it's a really great time for me to be looking toward the future and to get some "me" back. Yes, I'll still be the mom, but I'll also be the Maegan. Sure, I'll be answering to "Mom" (and all it's various forms) far more often than I'll be answering to my given name, but at least Maegan will be back in the game.

To that end, I've set myself a couple goals. And if other people know about those goals, then I'll be a little more likely to stick to them, so here they are:

1. I'm going to run the marathon. I attempted to do this 2 years ago and made it halfway. I thought that was pretty good, because I am SO not a runner. But this time I want to finish the damn thing. I don't need to do it in record time. I don't need to look pretty doing it. I just need to finish. I started training this week. And it's not pretty. But I'm doing it...and at an obscenely, horrendously early hour in the morning...before the kids wake up. I figure that way I start the day with just myself to worry about...and I get gratifying looks of astonishment when people ask me what time I woke up that morning.

2. I'm going to take a sewing class. It's something I've wanted to do for years. I have no idea why, really, but I want to, so I'm going to. And (gasp) I'm hiring a babysitter so I can actually do it. Watch out!

3. I'm going to put a lot more effort into my new-ish business venture. I started selling a jewelry line a couple months before #3 arrived and it's been relatively successful. Now I just need to get into the habit of keeping the ball rolling. It's a lot easier to keep it rolling than it is to start it up again every few weeks.

So, there you have it. A few goals for yours truly. Perhaps you have some goals for yourself you've been putting off...feel free to leave a comment about your goals. Maybe it'll help you keep yourself accountable. Or maybe just thinking about them a little more often will be the fire you need to get you going. However you choose to get around to your goals, I wish you success. Please let me know how they turn out...I'll be rooting for you.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go pop a few ibuprofen because my legs are killing me...and I need to call the sewing shop and register for my class.

Cheers!

30 Days

So, they (whomever they are) say in order to make something a habit, you need to do it for 3o days.

Therefore, as of today, I'm taking on the challenge. As of today, I'm going to blog every day for 30 days.

I'm doing this for several reasons:

1. I need a break from the children every once and a while throughout the day (like every 17 minutes or so) and this is a productive way to do it.

2. I feel like I'm supposed to be a writer, but in order for that to actually happen, I actually need to write. Physically write and not just in my head. Apparently, the good ideas in my head need to be placed on something concrete in order for other people to partake of them. Who knew?

3. I'm actually starting to get some energy back into my post-pregnant body and with that energy has, amazingly, come some quasi-coherent thoughts!

4. Did I mention needing a break from the kiddos?

5. It gives me a chance to drink my coffee while it's hot...or at least reheated.

6. I've got some sass in me that desperately needs to get out...otherwise my husband will really start complaining. And the kids aren't quite big enough to truly appreciate my sass-ness. Although something tells me they'll be getting it, and dishing it, sooner than I may like.

7. Caffeine is a very important component of my day...see #5.

8. Again...MUST have a rug rat break!

9. If I can get the hang of writing every day, perhaps I can get into the swing of exercising? Dare to dream I say!

10. Just because it's good to have a goal.

So, there you have it. 30 blog entries in 30 days. Have a topic you'd like addressed? Let me know! I'm always up for suggestions. Talk to you tomorrow...Day 2!

Goal (Halfway) Achieved

As I've mentioned before, when I decided to stay home with the girls, I also decided I needed a goal. A really hard goal, one that would make me work. After some consideration, I decided the Twin Cities Marathon would be my goal. So, a couple weekends ago, on a chilly and overcast Sunday morning, I made the grand attempt. My husband's friend was nice enough to run with me. I was a little nervous about running with someone, since I'd never really done it before, but he was a gem. Chatted with me, didn't make me run too fast, took off when he needed to and kept an eye out for me. A lovely running partner.

About a half hour into the run, it started to rain. And the rain just kept coming. At the start of the race, I mentioned to my running pal I wouldn't mind if it rained, as long as it didn't pour. Well, it poured...and poured...let up a little...and just kept raining. As I hit hour 2 or so, the rain finally let up. By this time, I was soaked to the bone and cold. I didn't mind my clothes being wet, but my shoes were soaked and I knew they wouldn't dry until I removed them. It was not a pretty picture.

At mile 11, my husband, his cousin and the girls were standing on the roadside waiting to cheer me on to completion. When I saw them, I thought, "Excellent. Here's my ride!" I kept going though, after a little break for kisses and hugs.

I made it to mile 13 and was still at least 3 hours from the finish line. At this point, my foot was hurting and I had gone longer than I'd ever run before. I debated, walking back and forth a few times, and finally decided to call it a day. A girl running by me said she was running the unofficial Half Marathon today, and that sounded like an excellent idea to me. So, I hopped on the bus and headed toward the finish line.

Now, my goal was to finish the marathon and I did not accomplish that goal. Having made it 13 miles, however, was tremendously satisfying to me. I think it's ok to not always accomplish our goals as long as we actually strive for them. Sometimes we pick goals that are too hard, sometimes outside sources keep us from our goals, sometimes we lose interest in our goals and move on to something else. As long as we keep striving for something, however imperfect the outcome, we continue to move foward in our lives.

And you, dear reader, what do you strive to accomplish? Any new goals these days? Any old goals completed?

Goals

When I quit work to stay home with the girls, I decided I needed a goal. Something to make sure I was still in touch with me. Something that was mine and pretty much mine alone. And, apparently, I decided to make the goal really hard, because who doesn't need a really hard goal, right? So, I decided to run a marathon. The Twin Cities Marathon.

Now, when I started training (and I use that term very lightly), I was still carrying baby weight... from both babies. Having gotten pregnant four months after giving birth to #1, I was still about 20 pounds heavier than normal when I got pregnant with #2. And guess what? I'm still carrying baby weight. Lovely, right? Don't get me wrong...I've definitely toned up. In fact, my ankles and wrists have never looked better. I finally lost that lovely "shelf" between my stomach and pubic bone. When I suck in my stomach, it visibly moves, whereas before I could suck in my stomach and although I could feel it suck in, when I looked in the mirror, it appeared nothing actually moved. The weight, however, is still there. I know, I know, muscle weighs more than fat. I would still prefer for the scale to register a smaller number when I step on it, but I digress...

My goal in running a marathon, however, was not to lose weight. I thought it would be an added bonus, definitely, but I wanted to run a marathon simply to be able to say that I've done it. I mean, that's a pretty major accomplishment, right? Running (jogging/walking/limping/crawling) 26.2 miles in 6 hours or less? It's a feat of endurance, strength, stubbornness and possibly stupidity. For some reason, I'm determined to do it. I am not a runner. I don't get a runner's high. I don't even enjoy running all that much. My only goal for the marathon is to not have to be picked up by the sweeper bus at the end of the race. I want to make it all the way to the finish line of my own accord and I'm 85% sure I can do it. It won't be pretty, I won't be running the whole time, there could be some throwing up involved and I may not be able to get out of bed the next day, but there's a very good chance I will be meeting my goal on October 4.

And you, readers, have you set yourself any goals? Obscenely difficult goals or perhaps daily goals? Immediate or future? Just for yourself or maybe some family oriented goals? Please, share your goals. Maybe it will give the rest of us something to shoot for...