Yesterday, I posted about my friend who was struggling with the comparison between her "perfect" mom and how she views herself. Luckily, I didn't write anything that offended her, but she did make an interesting comment about the post - she told me I gave her too much credit.
And to that I say:
That's crap.
Come on Moms!
And Dads, too. I know I say "moms" all the time, but that's simply because I am one. Please, Dads, know that I speak to you too. Our experiences as parents are different, but based in the same daily happenings.
But I digress.
Come on Moms! We need to support each other here. We need to stand up for each other and cheer each other on! We need to congratulate each other when we do something great with/for our kids. We need to provide a shoulder to cry on when our kids get sick. We need to provide listening, non-judgmental ears for our fellow moms.
But, most importantly:
We need to give credit to ourselves.
We are the only moms our kids will have. And 99.9% of us are doing the best we can. (I don't know if that's an accurate stat or not, but I need to believe it.) Sure, we have our moments. We slip up. We yell. We get frustrated. We cry. We curse. We do all sorts of things, in our momentary lapses, that make us feel like we're bad moms.
But it's the moment to moment things that determine who we are and who are children see. It's the cuddles on the couch; it's the owies we kiss; it's the dirt we scrub out from under fingernails; it's the hair we comb out of eyes; it's the foreheads we kiss to check for fevers; it's the vomit we wipe off ourselves after the kids, once again, fail to get even a drop on themselves; it's the macaroni and cheese we prepare for the ten billionth time; it's the classes we take them to; it's the recitals we watch; it's the specific item we madly search for so our kids can sleep at night.
On a daily, hourly, minute-ly basis, we do all these things.
And if we cannot give ourselves credit for a job well done, then we can't expect anyone else to do it either.
So, Parents, give yourselves some damn credit. Easier said than done, I know. But give it a try and see how it goes. Really, it can only make you feel better.
Well put Maegan!
ReplyDeleteI was just pondering yesterday @ how much we actually do for our kids, family, pets, co-workers, and even strangers. Sometimes it feels like we are just treading water and barely doing that well. I have a really hard time swallowing the fact that I cannot complete everything perfectly. But honestly, what is perfect? I have to ask myself that because perfect is so subjective. I just try to get through the laundry, dishes, meals, homework with the kids while smiling and saying "I love you" to them. None of us are perfect, but we are there. My mom worked so hard trying to raise me. I always viewed her as "perfect" because she tried so hard all of the time. She was ambitious and determined to make. Everything work. I smile @ those around me because we all need that connection with others, no matter how imperfect our lives are. Connections with others is what we all have in common.